My friend.

Two_Friends_Shaking_HandsTwo_Friends_Shaking_Hands

Ah my British novelist cunt friend!

I want to thank you for translating me into Italian! Incredible! It is a gigantic compliment for me. (And a lot of work for you.) It is a FIRST! And, an Italian already left a comment. (Unless of course, it’s Dan Jameson pretending to be an Italian to fuck us up.) Truly I am honored. I found a review of my first novel today where a woman said it was “the worst book she had ever read.” This is the more normal reaction to my work. Or stalkers, or some other form of bullshit. Your encouragement is very important to ME. Thank you.

Yeah, you know “eye-tie” is very old and terrible slang, equivalent to “nigger” and also there is “Wop”, and “Dago”. The anglo americans apparently disliked Italian immigrants A LOT. Which makes no sense at all as, if it were not for the Italian immigrants(and the Chinese, and the Mexicans), we would have nothing to eat except hamburger and frankfurter (German). And more importantly, nothing to drink except beer(German). And you know for me, wine is not alcohol, it is blood. I am a vampire.

So these days americans still use “wop” the same as “nigger”. They used to make insults about spaghetti too, but now ALL americans(including Mr. Dan Jameson) eat spaghetti(american spaghetti, like Bolognese but not as good.) All americans, Black, Asian, etc. We all eat pizza and so on.
Other insulting names for white people,

cracker,
honkie/honky
whitebread
whitey,
these are all pretty much like “nigger”. Growing up in Oakland, I thought my name was “Hey white boy” until I was 10 or 11 years old. : )

As for women, and our troubles with them, Stephen Hawking (you know, famous British astro-physicist) said that, for him, the most mysterious phenomena in the Universe was women. That’s Stephen Hawking talking, O.K.? The biggest mystery in the UNIVERSE! He’s a “genius”, we’re just ordinary crazy guys. I AGREE WITH HIM.

Of course the other great mystery is why americans hate my writing so much. Not everybody, just publishers, bookstores, critics, my family, my friends, the government, etc. Fucking dumb-ass crackers! Useless fuckwads. Don’t quote me on this.

So, it’s amazing! You translated me into ITALIAN! I was very happy to see the F.L.A.C.O.N.S. page with that. Thank you again. You are an ACE! A Prince! And also a dirty British cunt journalist pretending to be a dirty wop from New Jersey like in a movie with a dirty white t-shirt singing opera with a picture of the Pope on the wall and eating disgusting american spaghetti and waiting for Robert DeNiro. Or something. And I am an extremely dirty drunk German cunt who cannot speak German. I think that makes me a very strange guy. Also a “honkie”.

Peace,
Love,
Off the pigs,
fuck the ducks.

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